Day 7

Whew!!! That was a doosie!

I am glad that this week is over. Let's see...oh, last night after I posted the entry, my husband and I were on our way to our dance class when I noticed that we were going to be about 30 minutes early. So I said to him, hey, let’s stop at the beauty supply place. I went in and I was looking around for a leave in conditioner, shea butter and some tea tree oil. My husband is so supportive. He was in there trying to hunt down products with me. It was really cute. He was looking at rollers, rods and all the rest. Well, when we were about done this woman comes in with her husband (he was white too) and she had a head full of natural hair (beautiful) and I looked at her and thought to myself - yep, I can do this.

Well, today, I only had to work until noon. After work I went to the gym and got my sweat on. Then I went back to the beauty supply (I am not addicted I just wasn't sure last night which rollers I wanted so I needed to do more research) and got the rods and the flex rods. When I got home the book I mentioned "The Truth About Black Hair" was waiting for me. I was super excited. I was like that is going to make for excellent reading while under the dryer. So I rushed inside showered, washed and deep conditioned my hair and proceeded to roll it up. Let me just say this was a TIME CONSUMING PROCESS! I guess I am just out of practice because I use to do this every week back in da day. My arms were on FIRE! It took me like 45 minutes and I don't have a lot of hair. I guess after a few weeks it will take less time.

So here I am under the dryer. I read the introduction to the book (again) and the first chapter. Now I am processing all of that information and decided to take a minute and do my entry for today. Let me just say that there are two things from the little that I have read that is poignant to me. The first is "People say that we should love ourselves and be proud of ourselves? Do they mean that we should love all of ourselves except our hair? Is hair somehow separate from the self that God gave us and not deserving of love?" Process that! I know I still am. The second one is a quote from Bob Marley "You running and you running and you running away...You running and you running and you running away...But you can't run away from yourself." Yeah, chew on dat!

Well, I am gonna get back to my book. I still have like 40 more minutes to sit under the dryer. I will let you know how my hair comes out and how I feel about the whole book.

Day 6

One more day to go and then it's the WEEKEND BABY!!!!
I have no idea why I am so tired.  Oh wait, it may have to do with the fact that I woke up at 4am.  Why? I have no idea.  Then I just couldn't get comfortable.  Maybe I need one of those tempur-pedic sleep mattresses.  I heard that they make for an excellent nights sleep.

In the famous word of Betty Wright in No Pain No Gain "anything worth having at all is worth working for and waiting for."  On days like today I wish that this crap on my head was all "my hair".  I am telling you, it was a soggy mess out there and needless to say by the time I walked from the car to the building my head could be classfied as a federal disaster area by FEMA.  See, today I woke up and kinda finger fluffed my hair and used a long black scarf as a headband and tied it around my head and let the rest of the scarf hang long.  Now, let me just tell you, the last time I had a creamy crack application was on August 1st.  I have the type of hair that grows super duper fast since I eat right and excersie often.  Since I looked so terrible I decided to tie the scarf around my head and knot (bun) it in the back.  You know how they do (I don't know what that is called).  This is the first time I have done anything afro-centric with my hair at this job.  I did get some odd looks but it wasn't from the students.  Many of my students commented on how pretty I looked and asked how I did it because they wanted to go home and try it.  It made me feel good.  So maybe I was worried about them for nothing.

The weekend is coming so I am going to deep wash/condition and flex rod my head.  I am so looking forward to it.  Can I post pictures here?

Day 5

I woke up in a suck butt kinda mood but it is hump day so that is to be expected right? Work got on my last nerve today. I am so ready for a vacation.

Today NC was a rainy mess. I CANNOT wait until this whole transition situation is over. My head was looking a HAM.  I did workout today and let's just say the blow out I got on Saturday is a complete memory.  But it's all good, I am going to do flex rod sets from here on out.

I feel so fortunate to have my mom and Deidre on this walk with me.  I know for a fact they are not going to let me fall.  Anyhow, I guess I didn't realize how much of a spiritual and emotional journey this was going to be. Well, I mean I knew there was going to be some inner turmoil but I guess I just didn't realize how much I was going to have to get to know myself, my real self. As I mentioned before I am a teacher but what I failed to mention is I am THE ONLY black adult at the school and there are only 3 black children in the whole school (2 girls & 1 boy). One of the little girls has her natural hair and she looks so freakin cute. I told her today to never ever change her hair for anyone for any reason. She looked at me with those big brown eyes and smiled. I was like "I am serious". I hope that she listens to me. I wish that someone would have told me that.

I have so many what-ifs in my head. You know like what if I would have never got that relaxer after I took my braids out 8-9 years ago? What if my mom would have been firm in her NO when I asked to get a relaxer when I started high school?  She said no like the first 300 times but I guess she just gave up when I asked on that 301st time.

I could sit her all day and "what if" myself into depression but I won't. I am not going to lie, it is hard not to dwell on the past. However, as some wise person once said, "Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it." and I do not want that to happen-again (who said that anyway???). I am just praying for internal strength to get through this journey and all of the while I am really going to get to know my real self and try and understand why I thought black wasn't beautiful the way God gave it to me.

Day 4

Okay, did some additional research and found a great book. I ordered it last night. It is called The Truth About Black Hairstyles The Whole Story Revealed by Kamau & Janice Kenyatta. The ISBN is ISBN 0-9650653-2-4. I read the excerpt online and the first chapter on amazon.com. Good stuff.


Today I went and got some conditioners. The new growth is there and it is okay. I am good with it. It si all mine just how God gave it to me.

Also, when reading through a bunch of other stuff online (newspapers, magazines, books, other blogs) and watching the video diaries on youtube, I am really going to make an attempt to do this thang the right way. My goal is to not get my hair straightened with heat as it grows in. We shall see how that works. I am one of those people who just have to go all in. If I am eventually going to have a whole head of hair that I ain't seen in almost 7-8 years then I need to go right on ahead and get use to it now. Plus, depending on your hair (4A, B etc.) the extra heat from straightening may damage the natural curls of the hair.

P.S. There is some video on youtube that has like the 15 things I don’t miss since going natural. My girl is sooooo speaking the truth. I will try to get her log in name and post or the link.

Day 3

I am so GEEKED!!! I was looking at natural hairstyles online for like 2-3 hours. I talked to my mom and she is going to do it too!! SWEET HUH?!?
Plus my sister from another mister Deidre is almost a year in so I do have a small support group. What I need to do now is find some accessories. You know like scarves and headbands etc. Oh, I need to get a good leave in conditioner and deep conditioner. I also got some great advice today from someone. They told me to start treating ALL of my hair as if it were natural. I like that idea. You know, so that way I know how to care for my hair once it does all come in.

If anyone is interested YOUTUBE (yeah who would have thought that they would have anything helpful) has some great videos on styles, what to expect, products, how to care for your hair during the transition stage. Just go to the site and type in "relaxed to natural" or "natural hair" there is a ton of great info.

I did workout today and you know what...I don't care what it looks like. I mean I got a little poof but oh well. I am going to slap on a headband tomorrow and keep it movin'.

Day 2

Okay...motivation is still there.  I worked out today.  Not too bad looking.  I have consulted some websites and joined a group on facebook.  I am going to just leave my hair as it is now (my stylist deep conditioned, wash, dryed yesterday) I am looking for some transition styles.

I have heard that braids are good as well as twist outs, bantu knot outs and single braids.  I know what microbraids look like I am not sure about the others.  I will have to find some pics.  If you have any of those other styles please share!

Day 1

I am choosing to write about my hair journey because I know that there are a lot of women out there who need the support or who want to make the transition and are afraid. Afraid of what others will think and say. Afraid of how they will be viewed by corporate America. Just afraid!!

Well, I am married to a white man and I am a teacher. I will have to go through my journey looking my husband and his family in the eye as well as a group of middle school students who we know can be very cruel. So if I can do it you can too.

My reasons for making this decision are many. One I am just tired. Tired of spending the money. Tired of my scalp feeling as if it is on fire from the chemicals. Tired of trying to force my hair to do things that it was never meant to do. Most of all I am tired of being someone who I am not. God made me a certain way and for years I have hidden behind chemical products. I am tired of hiding this natural beauty that he has given me.

For the past 8 years being on the creamy crack I have had numerous flare ups from eczema. For about 3 years prior to the flare ups I use to just wear my hair braided. I did not have all of the problems that I have now. I listened to mass media and went on the creamy crack diet. Getting relaxer after relaxer. My scalp started to rebel. I had more and more flare ups which made me have to use more and more products and eventually medication to control the outbreaks. Finally, about 3 months ago I realized this is STUPID!!! So I went to a new stylist who specializes in natural hairstyles. I talked at length with her about the process but I didn’t start right away. She said that I needed to be ready mentally. Well I had been thinking about it for quite some time. So I went in on Saturday September 12 and did it. I decided to go ALL NATURAL!! No more creamy crack for me.

I LOVE to excercise to this is going to be a huge transition for me.  I worked out before the hair appointments so we shall see.  Right now I am super excited.  I know that is is going to be slow going but I am up to the challenge.  Let's hope that the excitement continues over the week and months ahead.

Listen ladies, I am afraid too but I think in the long run my hair and health will thank me.