Day 48 - Why would she say that?

Okay, so now that I am not so PISSED anymore, I can write about this is a calm fashion. When I was at the wedding this past weekend I saw a lot of my relative that I had not seen in a long time. Some of them I had not seen in well over 15 years. So it was nice to catch up. However, as we all know, there is always that one (or two) relatives that you MUST love from a distance and of course I encountered "the one". My niece was there (my brother’s daughter) and she is almost 2. Very few if any of these people had ever seen her. Let me just say if you have not seen pictures of her you must check her out. She is so damn cute I can't stand it. Anyway, after the wedding was over, we were all just hanging out in the church waiting on pictures and stuff. My niece was standing on the pew holding my hand and one of my aunts was talking to me. She then looked down and said (about my niece) and I quote "Woo-Wee....we gone have to take a straightening comb to this" as she was rubbing Chloe’s curls. I know I gave her the dirties look but come on now. First of all HER head is always a slam mess so how dare she talk. In my 33 years of living I have never even seen it look halfway decent. Secondly, my niece has the most beautiful hair I have ever seen. Her curls are da bomb. I am so jealous of her right now.


It is like I posted before, it is the older generations that have given us a complex, well at least me. I mean really??? I straightening comb? SHE AIN'T EVEN 2 YET??? Plus, there is no freaking need!!!!!!

Lord help me.....calm.....10, 9. 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1...okay I am better. Now I must go moisturize and put on my bonnet.

Peace, Love and DANG IT SHE IS 23 MONTHS OLD
~GNH~

Day 47 - Patience is truly a virtue

Well it has been 10 days since I have logged on. Work has really been kicking my butt. I am really going to have to find a happy medium between work and play. However, I have been taking very good care of my hair. I know what products work for me and I am glad that it didn't take me a long time to figure it out like most people who are transitioning. I am still struggling with a good regime now that the weather is all over the map. I guess it will come with time. Let me just say that the amount of new growth that I have is OFF DA CHARTS! Whoever said you get half an inch a month must be trippin' because I have waaaaaay more than that. I love my hair. I really do and I am glad that it is growing and healthy and all that junk but I must admit, last night I was a little frustrated with my hair. At the crown of my head I have a mountain of new hair and the two textures in that area is really starting to work my nerves. And I know it is because I have like every type of hair on my head. The back third of my head has to be like 3C or something because the two textures are not hard to deal with at all. Then the top is a lot coarser and harder to manage with the two textures. Then the front third is like the back – no problems. I then realized that I should probably set a time for transitioning. When I first got started I thought that I would transition for a year. Now, I don't know if I can make it. I guess I will shoot for July 1st, if I can make it that long.

This past weekend was a true test. I was in a wedding. NOPE, I did not straighten it. I was so proud of myself. And let me tell you I was so glad that I didn't for 2 reasons. First off, I got to be me. I was the only one rockin' curls in the wedding party and my hair and style and flair was on point. Second reason, uhm, I am NOT down with waking up at 5am to go to the salon. I mean come on now, that is a tad extreme. FIVE IN THE MORNING!!! I don’t get up at that time for nothing except catching a plane. I laughed cause I was the only well rested person in the wedding including the bride. Why? Cause I didn't wake up until almost 9am. I rod set my hair, got under the dryer for about 45 minutes. Watched a movie, took a nap and headed to the church and I was $70 richer cause I didn’t have to pay someone else to do my hair.

P.S. I was reading the November issue of Essence Magazine and I was kinda impressed. There were a few pages dedicated to natural hair and natural hair care. I guess they are coming around.

Peace, Love & Patience
~GNH~

Day 37 - Depression

So, I am not having a good day or shall I say good weekend with my hair. I must have done something totally wrong when I washed on Thursday. When I got up Friday my hair was super duper soft. Which would be fine but I still have a lot of relaxed ends. Okay, this is what happened. I did bantu knots and took them out Friday morning when I went to work. About halfway through the day I noticed that I had straight pieces sticking out, and before you ask, no it was not raining. So anyway, I thought that maybe since I sat under the dryer that had something to do with it. Right???

Now, since my hair decided to have a mind of its own I had to redo the bantu knots on Friday night which I wasn't mad about I was just a little disappointed since I can usually get 2 or 3 days out of them. I sprayed my hair with the Infusium 23 and oil mixture and did the bantu knots again. They seemed to last all day and again, my hair was still crazy soft and a little dry (hmmmm....). Last night before I went to bed I put a little shea butter on my hair and slapped on the satin bonnet. When I got up this morning ALL OF MY FREAKIN' HAIR WAS STRAIGHT except for the very top (where the bangs would be). I was ill. What in the sam hell is going on???? The only thing that I could think of was that usually when I do bantu knots I leave them in for a whole day before I take them out. That has to be it right? However, why is my hair so damn dry. Ugh!!! This is so frustrating and depressing.

So before I got pissed and did something stupid like make a salon appointment I took a deep breath and did some thinking. While on the elliptical machine I replayed everything. See, normally, on the weekends I don't really do anything with my hair but this weekend my mother-in-law was in town and, well, I couldn't just walk around like I always do. Then I remembered, mommy in law wanted the freaking HEAT on. WTH!!! Man up! You live in PA for crying out loud how can you come to Raleigh and be cold. GRRRRR!!!. So there you have it. That is why my hair is so stinking dry. All of that dry a$$ air from the heat being on and since I had just washed my hair and did not use moisturizer twice a day...well, you see where this is going.

So to solve two problems at once, when I came home from the gym I turned off the damn heat and showered without a shower cap so that my hair could get a little moisture. I am telling you, it was like straw. Then I took an ample amount of coconut oil mixed with shea butter and rubbed it all over my hair and into my scalp. Used my spray bottle of leave in conditioner to damped my hair and did the bantu knots (yes, again). After that, I moisturized my scalp and new growth with more of the shea butter and coconut oil. Before I go to bed I am going to do it again. I just want the hair back that I had last week. You know, the NOT dry hair!

When it is truly time to turn on the heat then I will get the humidifier out. Until then get another freakin' blanket and put on some socks. I will let you know how it all turns out tomorrow. Hopefully the curls last (no straight pieces) and the moisture returns.

Peace, Love & Moisture
~GNH~

Day 34 - Protection

I'M BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!

Okay, okay, I know, I have been away for a few days. Look, work was really holding a sista down so I have been neglecting my journaling duties. However, I did not my hair.

Since I last posted I haven't done anything new. I did bantu knots (my style of choice during this transitional phase) on Saturday and left them in. I didn't really have any place to be until Wednesday. When I went out I just put on my trusty floppy hat and BIG 'OL earrings. I was so cute (but I do need my eyebrows done). Which this was a good idea since I did need to give my hair a break and it was raining cats and dogs. It still is. I mean I am gonna have to build an ark and start gathering animals two by two soon. I put on a cotton scarf when I worked out so that it could absorb the sweat. Anyhow, I took the bantu knots down Wednesday morning and WOW!!! My curls were bangin'. I know, I should have taken a picture. Even in the rain they held up. I put on my satin bonnet last night and the curls were still fantastic today even with working out yesterday and today. They were still cute today but I needed to shampoo my hair. My scalp was starting to itch.  I washed my hair and used the regular conditioner (pantene) and combed out my hair in the shower.  This is the first time I have used a comb since Saturday.   I then put in my cantu leave in conditioner and some vitamin E oil and sat under the dryer for about 35 minutes.  Did more bantu knots (about 13)and put on the satin bonnet.  I will try to make this one last till Sunday......maybe I can push it to Monday before I have to redo them.

Oh, I forgot to mention that each day while the bantu knots were still in I sprayed my roots with a mixture of Infusium 23, coconut oil, tea tree oil and vitamin E oil. This protective style was a good way for me to see my natural hair growth and moisturize the natural hair.

The next thing I want to try is the bun scarf.

The directions on how to do this are at:

http://www.tznius.com/cgi-bin/bun.pl

This site also has a video:

http://www.funny-video-clips.tv/How-to-Tie-a-Head-Scarf--Chic-Bun__Gkyhl8SHB_s.html

The first thing that I am going to need to do is find the right type and size head wrap.  The process doesn't seem that intimidating if I get the right type of scarf.  I just want alternatives to hats since I can't wear a hat at work.  People do but I think that it is tasteless, classless and very unprofessional.

I am sure that there are others out there as well. Personally, I do not want to get braids (I am really going to try not to), I have never had a weave and I am not a cornrow type of person so my options on how to transition are limited. Whatever I decide to do, I just need to continue to stay away from the heat and condition and moisturize.

Peace, Love and Scarves

~GNH~

Day 31 - Pre Pooing

I did a pre-poo this weekend. Hmmm, some of us may be wondering what is a pre-poo? Well, let me just tell you that it is something that my mom my did back in da day to my hair and of course I had no idea why or what it was for. Also, when I decided to transition, my beautician did this as well. So what is pre-pooing? It is a treatment that is done BEFORE you shampoo, which most call pre-shampoo or the slang, pre-poo. African-American hair is drier than most, therefore performing a pre-poo is very beneficial. The treatment coats the strands and forms a protective barrier over the cuticles to keep the hair smooth. It also keeps the harsh detergents in the shampoo from stripping the hair of moisture.

So how do I pre-poo? Since I am transitioning and trying to prevent breakage, I pre-poo once a week. This is how I make mine:

1. Take a small bowl and pour in my favorite conditioner (I use the carrot cholesterol deep conditioner - pic below). I add coconut or olive oil. I switch off between the two. Coconut oil absorbs into the hair faster, olive oil is ultra moisturizing. You can also use grape seed oil or castor oil or whatever kind you like. Mix your oil of choice in the bowl with the conditioner, and make sure it has a smooth, creamy consistency.
2. I then part my hair into 4 sections (do 8 if you have longer hair or super thick hair). Then do one section at a time. Separate the hair and apply the mixture to the roots. Then apply to the hair concentrating on the ends of the hair. Do this for all sections. Don't forget the edges. Once the mix has been applied, use your fingers (this is what I do) or a wide-tooth comb to make sure it is evenly distributed.  This is the time when you want to comb out your hair from root to tip!!!
3. Place a shower cap on your head (cheap plastic kind or use a wal-mart bag and secure with a clip) and allow the treatment to sit for 30 minutes to and hour. I usually do some housecleaning or internet surfing while I wait. You can also wrap your head with a warm towel, to make sure the conditioner really penetrates the hair shaft.
4. Remove your cap or towel. Rinse and shampoo your hair as usual. If you want you can just do a conditioner wash using a mild shampoo.

Personally, I love the results. My hair is SUPER DUPER soft once I do this. When I am all natural, I might only do this once or twice a month depending on how my hair is acting and the weather outside. I am sure in the winter I will need to pre-poo more often.

Peace, Love and Deep Conditioner Treatments
~GNH~

Day 27 - All Hair is Good Hair

There is a lot of hype out there about Chris Rock's new movie. And I am gonna tell you the truth, at first I did not feel comfortable with having a public discussion about "our hair”. I have no problem talking to my friends and family about it, but did I want to have that conversation all out in public with everyone - not so much!!! I mean Chris is all on MSNBC, CNN, The Nightly News with Brian Williams talking about black hair. Then I thought about why his movie bothered me and I realized it wasn’t that he was discussing black hair in public. Hell, it ain’t no secret that we have different hair. It was the title of the movie that bothered me. So many people do not know the history of our hair and what the statement "good hair" really and truly means. It started as a survival phrase and over the years had progressed into a discriminatory phrase within our ethnic group; the black community.


The phrase "good hair" was never really about hair term or beauty at all. It goes back to the days of slavery. The phrase "good hair" was a survival phrase. Black women and men who had hair that was silky, curly, longer more flowing, meaning that they were more connected to the white man had advantages. Being connected to the white man meant a person was more likely to be freed when the slave owner died, they got to work in the house which led to having access to better food, clothing, books, warmth, and other necessities of life. During those days it wasn't about blacks saying that they were "cute" it was about having a better chance in life, a better chance of being freed, and after slavery it was about getting a job and education. This whole "good hair" statement is something that is now imbedded into our cultural psyche and it needs to be surgically removed.

Grandma don’t know what she is talking about! Yeah, I said it. Many older adults (my parents included) are still stuck in the mindset that if you walk around with your natural hair then you will not be accepted. You will not get a job. You will not have access to the better things in life. Whites prefer lighter skin tones while darker skin is considered less desirable therefore if you have a darker complexion and have natural hair you will never get ahead. It all goes back to what I said above and colorism (brown paper bag test---heard of it?) within the black community. Colorism is a form of discrimination in which human beings are accorded differing social and treatment based on skin color (within the black community). The preference often gets translated into economic status because of opportunities for work. Now with that being said, what our peeps (the older ones and some of the younger ones) need to realize is that society is not what it use to be. Yes, there is still colorism and racism but all things in Corporate America are not tied to the hair and skin the way they were in the days of Jim Crow. This whole "good hair" thing became demoralizing within the black community. "Good Hair" became equated with fair skin all a symbol of beauty. For those of us (ME) who didn't fit into this light complexion society life was not easy. I was mistreated on the school playground. Hell, the stereotype still exists at some colleges. No it isn't you say. THAT'S BULL....think about black sororities and fraternities. Nuff said. I know fo darn sure that I would not have passed the brown paper bag test, the ruler test, the blue vein test or any of those colorism test they had back in the day. I am all black and proud of it.

Okay, I am off of my soapbox. Now am I going to go and see Chris Rock's movie? Hell yes! I mean I can't pass up an opportunity to see about this weave that you can put on lay away. It just doesn't seen natural (no pun intended).


Peace, Love and Sooooooooooooooooooooooooouuuuul
~GNH~

Day 26 - House Cleaning

Okay peeps, honestly time. I haven't done a thang to my hair since I washed it on Monday. I left it in the bantu knots and that was that. My hair probably needed to rest anyway. I did have some running around to do but I just put a hat on top of it, some funky earring and nice lip gloss and kept it movin'. I was looking cute too! I'ma pop them out tomorrow. I have to go someplace where I can't look quite as casual.

Now, to the meat of things.....

So we all do the big spring and fall clean when we open the windows and let the fresh air in. In the spring, we pack up the winter clothes and in the fall we pack up the summer clothes. Well, today I am doing a different sort of cleaning. I am opening every drawer/cabinet and throwing out all of my black hair and skin destroyers. You know what I am talking about, those old rubber bands with the metal part, any and all metal clips, scrunchies, headwraps and headbands that are not satin, scarves that I use to sleep in that are not satin, old perms, oil sheen, hair grease (all that mineral oil and petroleum ick), Vaseline, all chapsticks that have ingredients on my banded list, any body lotion that has petroleum or mineral oil as the second or third ingredient, face moisturizer that doesn't have sunscreen, the list is endless. I think by the end of the day I will have 2-3 Wal-Mart bags filled. Ain't that sad?

How about you? What are you doing to better your skin and hair? The change of seasons is upon us so you will have to switch up that summertime hair routine (conditioner will be your bestest friend) and remember, skin is the biggest organ ya got. Altogether most adults have about 1.5-2 sq meters of it. Treat it right and it won't do you wrong.

Peace, Love and Wide Tooth Combs,
~GNH~

P.S. I am keeping a few cotton headbands and scarves for when I workout.  They collect the sweat and keep it off of your scalp/hair.

Day 25 - Today I am 65 days SOBER. LOL!

Ha Ha....guess what? It has been 65 days since my last creamy crack application. Maybe I should go out and buy myself something to celebrate. Hmmmm, I do want a new wide tooth comb. It really does feel good. I just cannot keep my hands out of my head. What is up with that? I am so pleased with the progress. My hair is the softest it has ever been. The last time I was "natural" I did not really know how to truly take care of my hair and I was using all of the wrong products. Chicas, knowledge really is power (thanks Francis Bacon-1597) so go out and get educated about your hair & skin. No two people are alike and what may work for me may not always be the best for you. Try new products, experiment on dry, wet, and damp hair. Also, depending on where you are shopping lots of places offer samples. TAKE THEM!!! But I will tell you this, whatever products you choose to get remember that you need moisture/oils and lots of it. Don't forget about your roots and protect your ends.



Peace, Love and Vitamin E Oil!!!
~GNH~

Day 24

I must say that since changing my hair I have seen a DRASTIC improvement in my skin. Long gone are the days of ten million zits. My clear skin is B-A-C-K!!!! When I moved to NC I had natural hair and for the most part I wore it in braids but there were times when I would straighten it with the blow dryer. Back then I had wonderful skin and I didn't use any products other than body soap and sun screen on my face. Within the last 4 years my skin had started pissing me off and I had no idea why. Everyday there was a new pimple on my face or back. It was ridiculous. I tried product after product and nothing worked. I never consciously thought that the CRAP I was putting on my scalp and hair had any effect on my skin. Yeah I know DUH Erica!!! Since gettin off da creamy crack I have also gotten more complements about how I look and not just about my hair but about my skin too. My husband tells me every day that my skin is just so soft and clear. My friend Karen, who is not easily impressed with anything or anybody, could not stop telling me how beautiful I looked with my hair in curls. She said it brought out all of the features on my face. I was told that "I simply glow!" She said that I should have done this years ago. Yeah, hindsight right. Anyhow, I know it took me some time to do what I needed to do but I am doing it. I am experimenting with products and finding out what my hair likes and doesn't like. It is a fun journey and for someone like me who isn't patient it is a learning experience like no other.

Since my last post I have decided that bantu knots are going to be my everyday style. I like the look of them and they are really easy to do. I will do rod sets when I want to look nice or I am going someplace special.

On Friday morning I co-washed my hair with Pantene conditioner and I used the shea butter leave in that is pictured below (posted last Monday). I did a rod set since me and my cutie hubbie were going out on a date. I sat under the dryer until my hair was about 90% dry. I mixed Infusium 23, water, carrot oil and vitamin E oil in the spray bottle and used that to wet my ends and roots as I rolled my hair. I have the rolling process down to about 22 minutes -- WOOT WOOT--Tho dem hands in the ayer a-ayer ayer a-ayer fo me!

I had a bar mitzvah on Saturday so the style kept for the next day as well. Yesterday I had ZERO plans other than going to the gym so I really didn't care what it looked like. Today I had a dentist appointment and it was starting to look raggedy so I threw on a headband and went on with my day. I worked out and came home and washed my hair with the coconut shampoo (that stuff smells WONDERFUL). Well, let me clarify that, I didn't wash my hair I washed my scalp because it was itching something terrible. I used the Pantene conditioner and detangled in the shower. When I got out I used the shea butter leave in and sprayed my roots with the Infusium 23, water and oil solution that I mentioned above. My hair LOVES this mixture. I have found for me that the bantu knots work better on dry hair more so than on wet hair so I sat under the dryer for about 25 minutes. Before I go to bed tonight I will do about 8 bantu knots.

My Hair LOVES:
Shea butter
Carrot oil
Vitamin E oil
Coconut oil
Infusium 23 ***good lookin out Deidre. i had forgot about this***
Pantene conditioner
Coconut milk shampoo

My hair HATES:
Being styled/rolled/manipulated while wet - must get 90% dry first
Non organic shampoos - yep, this has been the problem all along wish I woulda know this years ago.
Oil Sheen of any kind - again, hindsight
Hair gel
Hair spray

http://www.naturallycurly.com/hair-types

Peace, Love and Coconut Oil!!!
~GNH~